my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need to calm my uterus...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
