I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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