Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
