dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
