The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
