if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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