I seem to have left my pride at pride
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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