I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
