This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
