The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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