It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
