70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
