it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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