YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
