i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
