bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
