i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She bit a glass in half.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
