you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
