Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
