Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
