wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
