I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
