are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
