Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
