she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
