after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
