we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
