My hand turned me down
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
