just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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