Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
