I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize