Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
