Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
