tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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