I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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