i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize