I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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