im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
