i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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