We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
