girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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