I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I will pee on everything he values.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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