As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
