White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
