you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
