I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
