College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
