It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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