I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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