i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
