Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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