I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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