WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
handjob tips. give me some.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
