I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
