It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
