took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
