About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
