So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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