i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
