my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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