Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
