she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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