i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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