Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
